5 Things I’ve Learned from Breakups

When you’re the one going through a breakup, it seems like your whole world has come crashing down. Trust me, I’ve been there…a few times. However, when it’s all said and done, breakups can be a great learning experience. Here are 5 things I have learned from the breakups I’ve been through.

I’ve learned…

…who my real friends are.

The friends who bring you chocolate and flowers to cheer you up after a breakup are friends you’re going to want to hold on to. Your real friends will be there to support you and help get you through this horrible time in your life. The friends you’ll want to cut loose are the ones who are only interested in themselves and couldn’t care less about what you’re going through. If you have a “friend” who doesn’t so much as give you a call while you’re down in the dumps, it’s time to kick them to the curb. They don’t really care about you, anyway.

…to love myself again.

Too often in relationships, we get so caught up in being there for the other person and loving them that we forget to love ourselves. In order to pick yourself up after a breakup, you have to fall in love with yourself again. If you love yourself and are confident in who you are, you will get through that breakup and come out a stronger person. You will discover that you don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy.

…that it wasn’t a waste of time.

A lot of people break up with someone and think that their time together was a waste. This is simply not true. Every relationship, no matter the duration, is a learning experience. For example, I once dated someone for only two weeks, but I learned to trust my friends rather than some guy I’ve just met. I went against their advice and dated him, and it ended up backfiring, as my close friends knew it would. He dumped me after two weeks because he needed “time alone,” and then I saw him out with some other girl two days later. So, even though that experience was very traumatic for me as a teenager, I learned that my friends usually know what’s best for me, and I can’t let love make me blind.

…that you can’t change someone unless they want to be changed.

How many times have you heard people in relationships say, “Oh, but he/she will change!” That never happens. People don’t change unless they want to. Don’t go into a relationship with someone you’re not sure about because you think you can change them. You can’t.

…that lying never helps anything.

I’ve both lied and been lied to in relationships, and I have vowed to never do it again. If two partners can’t trust each other, the relationship won’t last. Don’t lie. Period.

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